"Peace be with you."

These were the words Jesus spoke to his disciples after his death. They were feeling anything but peaceful at the time, but with these words they began to gain a new understanding of Jesus' death and resurrection and the promise they gave for everlasting life.

Like the disciples, we too often feel anything but peaceful at the time of the death of a loved one, no matter how prepared we were for it. But also, like the disciples, we have this promise of everlasting life which sustains us and gives us peace in the hope that we will be reunited with those we love.

At the same time that we struggle to understand the reality of death and the hope of resurrection, we are faced with the need to make funeral arrangements. Many of our Catholic faithful find themselves in this experience with little or no prior knowledge or experience. 

There are three areas which require attention when making funeral arrangements:

1. the liturgical and spiritual questions that are most properly the concern of the pastor and the parish community.
2. the procedural matters that need to be addressed at the funeral home.

Decisions regarding these liturgical moments are best made with the parish ministers at the outset of formulating the funeral arrangements. With these liturgical considerations in mind, arrangements can then be made with the funeral director of your choice.

Your Parish

While the funeral home might need to be contacted immediately following a death, the first call when actually making the funeral arrangements should be to your parish. Your parish community has trained pastoral ministers available for liturgical funeral planning at the time of the funeral and with post-funeral grief ministry.

Through baptism, all are made one in Christ. Therefore, at the time of our death, each of us is entitled to Catholic burial from a parish community. The family or friends of the deceased simply need to request a Catholic funeral by contacting the parish priest or pastoral staff.

Liturgical Moments

• There are three elements of a Catholic funeral, as described in the Order of Christian Funerals:
  1. A Vigil Service: generally held at the parish church or funeral home. This service has as its focus proclaiming and reflecting on the Word of God.
  2. A Funeral Mass which is celebrated in the parish church with the body present. If cremation is your preference, the norm would be the Mass with the body present, followed by the cremation.
  3. The Committal: whenever possible this is celebrated at the open grave or place of interment rather than at a cemetery chapel.

Your Funeral Director

The funeral director provides for the coordination of the three liturgical elements (Vigil, Funeral Mass, Committal) with the parish ministers and cemetery staff. The director also provides tangible goods and services such as:

• casket
• embalming (if requested)
• cremation arrangements (if this is your preference within the Church's guidelines.)
• filing of legal documents
• obituary notices in newspapers
• cortege escorts
• other professional services

If you want to get familiar with the different terms that Funeral Homes and their staff use, please click on the graphic. This will take you to "Glossary of Terms".

Consider Pre-Planning

The time surrounding the death of a loved one is difficult, yet it can be a deeply enriching and faith-filled moment. In order to allow for the proper emphasis on consoling family and friends and growing in faith, it is wise to make as many arrangements as possible in advance. Planning in advance also allows families to make joint decisions free of the stress they would be under at the time of death.

Many liturgical decisions as well as actual purchase of goods and services can be provided for in advance of need. Your parish can assist with the selection of liturgical options, such as appropriate readings, other prayers and music.

All advance decisions should be recorded and kept with other important documents. A designated family representative should receive a copy of these decisions to ensure that wishes are known and followed.